We all spend half our time running around fucked out of our mind. We spend the other half sleeping at desks, praying just to get back.

So! I'm back to this.

4 Years Later...

My last post was a long time ago... Kinda feels like someone completely different.

I find myself with an excess of free time, and that midnight writings may be the thing to do from now on.

I know why Nightingale does it so much... or at least, I can kind of identify.

Maybe I'll use it as a place to organize my thoughts. Or just talk about the day.

Lately, my thoughts have been a bit disorganized, and my nights a little hard.

I think it's time to put on some headphones, and really write.

-Goes to get music-

Music on, and now I'm comfy.

Where to start?

""Begin at the beginning," the King said gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop""

Well, I dated Valkryie for about 2 years. That just ended a week or two ago.

Things just weren't working. We were both unhappy, and we knew it.

Then she turned into... Well, lets just say it was nasty and I don't want to dwell.

So, now I'm in my final semester of collage, about to get my degree.

I'm single, and living with a roommate.

My sleep patterns have been absolutely decimated by Valkryie leaving...

Lately, I've been sleeping through alarms and not sleeping til 4 if at all...

So, hopefully this will be a shutdown method or something. Like... Come home, do stuff, post on blog, then sleep.
That's my hope at least.

Other things!

School is awesome. Always has been. I love doing work that involves the gaming industry. It's ever changing and always exciting. Just the profession I need.

My little pony. Vinyl Scratch and Pinkie Pie. That is all.

Dating. :/ Hmph. It's... something.

I think I fall for people too easily. Granted there are a particular few since I've been broken up that I've had my eyes on.
One specifically, Nightingale, is certainly captured the majority of my attention. She's the kinda girl who see's though all my defences. Needless to say, I've fallen hopelessly and illogically in love with her. She knows this, and thus the future of the relationship and where it goes is completely in her hands. Until then, we are friends, and I'm happy to have her as that.

(Expect her to be the focus of quite a few nights. She's on my mind far too much as it is...)

This is actually my first night sober in about a week. Since I've been single, I've taken the opportunity to wander out and get myself completely fucked as much as possible. Between drinking and other illegal substances, I haven't been sober since last Tuesday. And while I am certainly on a break tonight, I plan to continue to party myself into the ground as often as I can afford to.

No sleep tonight though.
I find that four thirty is usually the threshold at which I have to decide whether to sleep or not, and since that has completely passed by without any notice whatsoever, I guess there is no sleep to be had. I'd just have to be up in an hour and a half anyway.

Interesting that it was so easy to come up with impersonal names for my friends in highschool, but not now. I'm struggling to give proper names to people that I would recognise later. I'll think up some, I'm sure.

I think after this post I shall go for a walk. then shower, and then watch some Criminal Minds.

I also think that I'm going to refrain from telling anyone that I've started this back up again.

I think last time I blogged, it was because I wanted people to be interested what I was doing... Maybe a bit of some want for attention...

I don't want it to be that way this time. This time it's for me.

The writing will make me feel better, and give me something to do during the long nights ahead.

I'll be returning back to my hometown tomorrow... It will be nice, but Nightingale is busy all weekend which is kind of.. discouraging.

It's also frustrating because... Well, I should want to go home and see family and friends. She isn't the only reason I have to go home...

But... she's certainly a good one...

It's frustrating that I get so disappointed by that. As I said, Illogical head over heels in love. It can be annoying when it's impairing my judgement like that.

I don't know... Regardless, I'm going to go home, and hopefully see some old friends.

As long as I'm having fun. That's all.
Because really, what else can you ask for in life?
Happiness.

I'm trying to get there. One day at a time.

I feel like I have more to say, but I can't think of it. I'm sure it will get said sooner or later.

Forever and Always
Stryker